This past month has been very hectic, but not in the way we Americans have grown accustomed. Saying, "I'm busy" is like saying, "I'm normal" or "I'm not a bum." It works as an excuse as well, as I've heard everything from a failed date to an uninterested client give "I'm busy" as the reason for their not returning my calls. But this has been different. This has been along the lines of "is what I'm doing really going to pay off?"
Working hard to build a startup is one thing. Working hard to make your own butter is just plain dumb (unless it's 1840). I'm not sure I can tell the difference between hard work that pays off and hard work that's unnecessary. Sometimes I look back at a 14-hour day or after telling my kids that I need to get back to work and question the value of what I'm doing. If in 10 years I'm sailing in Greece while my company bills 10MM in revenue, then I'm doing the right thing. If I'm greasing someone else's sailboat to pay my company's bills, then it's a different story.
I love what I do, but loving something doesn't always equal success (however you define it). You still need to eat and hopefully afford the good bourbon. Kids need clothes and iPods and all that. Maybe it's easier to package the whole owning your own company idea and put it in the attic. It's definitely easier to work for someone else. Let them have the headaches and you just show up and perform. The thing is that I'm not sure I'd ever be happy doing that again. And hence the hectic struggle between whether I'm doing exactly what I've been crafted to do and whether I'm just a crackhead that hasn't come down yet.
I had someone approach me with a business deal that has made this choice a reality for me. Stop what I'm building and help him build something. It's tempting. Wake up and focus on doing one thing. Just that one thing. Collect your check and buy the expensive bourbon. Or a new car. A new house.
But it's his thing. Not mine.
My friend asked me this morning why I started my business. After telling her my thoughts, she pressed further. Couldn't you do that for someone else? All those reasons, couldn't you help someone else do that?
Well, yes.
Well, why don't you then?
The only thing I could think of was the difference between renting a house and owning one. Everything may be exactly the same. Same house, same costs, same yard. But with renting, in 10 years you walk away with just the memories. With owning, you walk away having built equity in something. You own it. It's not theirs. It's yours.
And for some reason I find that important to me.
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4 comments:
Do what makes sense to you right now, and don't let the future cloud your judgement. Whatever you decide, you'll still have the same goals for your own future. It's just how you get there.
Needing to partner with people to build something doesn't make for a weak person. Strength comes from admitting there is a way other than our own. Yes ownership has it's privledges, but so does calling maintenance rather than paying the plumbing bill yourself. A decision today won't impact the entire future. Is it possible to build something with someone and play with your own Legos on the side. Partner on your terms, but don't consider it failure if you choose to do so.
i like this blog entry jay..I have always wanted my future to design for me...I do that now with my artwork, but what is better in life to have your own be your first work priority rather then a side show. I do the side show and envy the ones that take the risk and go all the way by batting down other offers..trust me you will keep getting those ones that will try to lure you back to working for "the man" or with a partner, its because your good at what you do.
love this quote, a little dramatic but hey
Theodore Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
you have already taken the the giant leap into your own business Jay..keep sweating:) and own it.
and hopefully my cold and timid soul will join ya in the area someday.
Jen
Thanks guys. I will really look at this offer with more than just the short term economic impact in mind. I never want to give up on my own thing. This just may be a good fit for now.
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